people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
