...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
