i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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