I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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