A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
