Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
