Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
