JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
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I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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