So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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