Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
