I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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