why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You pole danced in your parka.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
