I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
found the other keg... it's in the tree
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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