idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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