Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
