Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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