Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
