Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
