it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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