it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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