i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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