So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
