i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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