haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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