You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
