If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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