OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
