I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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