i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
