I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
