youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
