why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Drunk is a universal language darling
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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