Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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