Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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