Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
