I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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