I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
