Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
