Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
