He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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