I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
