is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
50% drunk capacity currently
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize