I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
