Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
