yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
