Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
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But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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