Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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