I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
