Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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