My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
