your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize