I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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