So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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