nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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