I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm like, not good at living.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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