My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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