this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize