Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
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For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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