go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
