Swine flu is the new snow day.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
