i jhust puked up my retainher.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
