how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got inside last night via doggy door
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
