He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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