I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
