I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
