Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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