Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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